Finals Week

If anyone starts singing 'it's the most wonderful time of the year', unless it was sung sarcastically, I will punch them. -__-

The hard thing about my finals is that it's hard to study for them - they're right after the other, with Physics on Wed and Calc on Thurs. :( So I have to study for them simultaneously. The good thing is that I don't have to worry too much about Physics because we get two sheets of notes to take in with us, and I write rull rull small. ;)

The irritating thing about finals, too, is that they're weird times. So on Wed my final is from 4-7p (yes, it's three hours long ;__; ) and on Thursday my final is from 8-11a. Which sucks, really.

So anyway, this is my brief procrastination break. Then it's what may be my last meal for a while unless someone drags me out of my room/complex...

Schedule (Tentative) :
Monday: 
make note sheet for Physics
lunch
finish note sheet for Physics
study math

Tuesday:
writing conference :(
study math
study Physics
study Physics (do practice exam)

Wednesday:
study math
work on GC paper
study physics
panic with those in hall that also take physics
Physics Final
math review session directly after final
study math* (with Kim)**

Thursday:
panic
Calc Exam***
return to room and pack
go to whatever frosh celebration/party thing is happening
start first leg of journey home (go to hotel)
nap
wake up
shower
stay awake@

Friday:
get ready
catch shuttle
start ridiculously long journey home
sleep on plane



*sleeping optional
**'sleeping optional' applies only to me; study time with Kim = crash course in calculus
***possibility of returning to my room in tears
@ I'm not going to really sleep for fear of not waking up in time and thus missing everything...so I'll nap and stay up the entire time so I can hopefully sleep on the plane :/

Well, it's lunch time.

Jya~

E

Quick Procrastination Break...Thanks Tokes!

In calc, we're doing volumes of graphs. A lot of people are having trouble visualizing the shapes formed by these funky-lookin' graphs, but I'm having a rull-rull easy time. Why? Mechanical Drawing. :D

So now I'm going good in calc right now. I got 10/10s on my past two homeworks 'cause they were on Area and Volumes of Graphs. ;)

Mwahahaha. Now I just have to study limits and implicit differentiation. :(

<3

E

It's really cold....

I checked the weather forecast today. It's 28 degrees but feels like 17. :(

When I go outside, it's so cold it burns. Literally, burns.

as of 9:25a:

The weather report says 30 degrees, feels like 19, winds from the West between 14 and 24 mph. ;__;

E

"I wish it would *&%$#@ snow, man..."

My friend Phil said that. And yes, he swore.

We were talking about how ridiculously cold it was. Well, they were and I was shivering. It's down to the 30's almost all day but still no snow except for a few flurries every once in a while, usually early in the morning and late at night.

I wish it would snow. It would make it worth living with this cold. But it doesn't. NOT. HAPPY.

~E

Ugh

Ok. So basically we're an entire lecture behind in math. So the homework due tomorrow is covering a topic we barely mentioned last class. And Professor He is going to take away one of our review sessions (we have two before our final) to finish the last section we would otherwise miss. To make things even better, the book has only a very small section on what we're covering.

The thing that's saving me right now is the fact that Bianca gave me her old Calc workbook from AP Calc in high school. It's sad that I can teach myself better with that book than by listening to Professor He. :/

~E

Assumptions and Stereotypes

I was just thinking about these. They're kind of funny. ;)

Stereotypes:
-starving college students : false. I actually eat quite a bit. As mom has said, it's like a squirrel: I have to save up for winter (or whenever I go without food, but that is rare). I get at least two good meals a day, sometimes three. The food here is really good, too. :)
-dining hall food sucks: false. Yes, it's not as good as homemade food, but it's nothing like high school cafeteria food, that's for sure. It's pretty good.
-Hawaiians surf: true and false. Some do, not all. I happen to.
-Hawaiians have a low tolerance to cold: true and false. I happen to have a low tolerance for cold. Others do too, but not all.
-Hawaiians have never seen snow before: true and false. I have, but others haven't.


Assumptions:
Before I go on, let me show you this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywmpMQYojs. It's funny. It's the Assumption Song. ;)
-I am dating Jose. false. No. We're just good friends. Really.
-I am dating Bruce. false. Same as above.
-I am a wild party animal. false. I'm just out a lot with friends.
-I am dating Charlie. false. Just because I am friends with a guy doesn't mean I'm dating him.
-I have a boyfriend (because of the ring on my finger). false. I wear a ring on my finger because it has significance to me, not because I am showing that I am taken.
-I just don't want to admit that I have a boyfriend. false. 1. I don't have a boyfriend. 2. Why would I be ashamed to admit it if I did? (and why are y'all so obsessed about my love life (or lack of)?)
-I get a lot of sleep. false. I am a college student. On average, I get between 4-7 hours of sleep. During finals and exams, I get as little as 3-4, or even less. On Saturdays when there are games the band goes to, I usually keep to my weekday schedule. On Sundays I sleep in until 1. The only time I get to really sleep in and catch up on sleep are Sundays (as mentioned) and breaks. So I'll say that I don't get a whole lot of sleep.

I had more but there was an issue with blogspot.com saving the drafts. Gah. I have to run, but I'll update with more later.

~E

It's me again...

Self-pity fest (almost) over. Anyway, I was making myself some dinner and thinking about some of the nuances of speech here. As far as I know, it's Lehigh-specific because we're such a close-knit community.

-We refer to the dorms as "home". When I talk with someone, we say we're going "home" to study, or shower, or nap or something. Yes, it's not that big of a deal...but in context it speaks a lot. We don't say "I'm going back to the dorm to____" anymore. 

-After the first two weeks or so of school, whenever someone would ask where I (or anyone else) was from, they would say "where were you from before?" or "where did you come from before [Lehigh]?" As in, "this is our home now, we moved here permanently, so where did you move from before you moved?" Now a lot of the people I talk to say "Where is your family?" When they joke about my [low] tolerance (what tolerance?) to the cold, they say "well, you came from Hawaii", in a way that always seems to imply that this is my home now, not Hawaii, like the above statement. 

-Now when people say "where do you live" or "where did you live", everyone automatically says their dorm/apartment name rather than their city or home state unless asked specifically. 

-When we asked each other about each others' Thanksgiving or holiday breaks, they always say first "it's good to be back home." Then they talk about family. Then they finish and say, "I missed my family, but I missed Lehigh more. It's good to be home." or something similar. 

On a lighter note, here is what we call some of the buildings on campus. Unfortunately I can only think of two...but they're fairly funny.

-Linderman Library: Nicknamed "Lindy". I've heard a lot of people say "I've got a hot date with Lindy," meaning "I'm going to study my butt off in Linderman Library and not come out until they kick me out or my brain bleeds out through my ears". Usually said sometime before finals/4 o'clocks.

-Rathbone Dining Hall: Nicknamed "Rath" or "The 'Bone" (B and some of my hall mates call it "The 'Boner" in fits of crude humor). I usually eat here, so when I plan dinner or something with friends, I refer to it as The 'Bone or, on occasion, Rath. Jose does this too. I know there are others who do it, so we're not the only ones.

~E

...

Sometimes it seems like my best just isn't good enough.

I mean, as you saw from a previous blog, I have to score high on my final exam so I don't "fail" math and have to take it over again. I don't even understand what's going on. I mean, when he goes over it in lecture I can understand it, but when I'm faced with the problem...I have absolutely no understanding of it.

I'm going to try my best, though. I just don't know if it's good enough.

E

Gobble Gobble Gobble...

A lot of people are wondering so...I went to DC for Thanksgiving. I traveled with a friend from band, Charlie, who was heading in the same direction. We caught a Bieber bus from the depot just off campus to Philly, then a MegaBus from Philly to DC. He went to visit family there while Uncle Dave picked me up from the bus stop and we went back to Fredericksburg.

And, apparently the day after I left, it snowed in PA.  ;__;

It was like being in the dorm again, though with different people and in a different place...and with bald cats. The only thing was that I couldn't quite leave... And as fun as it was to see family, I missed Lehigh so much. Didn't think I would. It's kind of weird. :/

I've started to think of Lehigh as "home". I have a "mommy" here, and a "sister" too. I can still talk with Jenna via Skype and/or Facebook, and though I talk to mom regularly...gah. I don't know anymore. It'll be interesting going back to Hawaii. I mean, here I can literally (and usually do, especially for band-related activities) leave the dorm at around 11p and not return until 1 or 2am. Or I can stay up all night doing homework and no one will call me to ask where I am unless B locked herself out again and that has only happened about two times. I don't have to ask permission for anything and do pretty much whatever I want, especially since I don't have anyone here to tell me what to do (and if they do try to tell me I get pretty angry at them, mostly because they tell me what to do in a really condescending way).

But it'll be nice to be home. Even though it'll be hot as heck for me 'cause I'm finally getting used to the weather here. :/

~E

Now That I Think About It...

Now that I think about it, we almost pulled an 'American Pie' on the field. x)

We all got up to dance
But oh, we never got the chance
'Cause, when the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield...
(Not entirely sure if that's right - done from memory)

Because Aunty Kehau asked when I sent her to shows, I'll make a list of the shows I marched in and where I start off in.

Princeton Halftime:
http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/9/24_YVBsoqvA
I start out on the left side of the screen at the corner on the 40 yard line.

Songs: Don't Stop Me Now, California Dreamin'
Title: Don't Stop Dreamin'


CMBF (Collegiate Marching Band Festival) and Bucknell (Pregame):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fepb59Fin50 and http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/5/ruaudg_P2Mc
I start off on the right side of the screen in the back row. If you look down the row, you see a bunch of tall people and a place where the line dips over two heads. (That's me and Alex) I'm the one to the left. Or, if you want specifics, just to the viewer's right of the 35.

Songs: I Want You Back, What Is Life
Title: I Want Your Life

Bucknell (Halftime) and Colgate (Pregame):
http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/6/C_G0FgENuEA and http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/2/g7xw3PznFFo
I "start out" in different places depending on the video. In the Bucknell (Halftime) one, we're already on field, so I'm in the 4 where the horizontal line meets the vertical. Again, look for where the line dips down due to me and Alex's shortness and I'll be the one closer to the middle. In the Colgate (Pregame) video, we're marching on. I'm pretty much in the same place on the 35.

Songs: 4 Minutes, Bad Romance
Show Title: 4 Minutes of Bromance


Colgate (Halftime):

http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/3/fY4H54hJCtM

In the beginning of the video, my rank isn't shown. Slowly the camera zooms out and then you can see my rank, starting from 0:29. Somewhere between 0:30 and 0:31 I'm spinning on the yard line. Again, look for the short people in the line. When you first see the rank, there should be a tall person spinning...and then there's me. If you want more specifics, wait until we start marching the show. There are two short inner lines to the viewer's right of my line. At around 2:03ish they spin sideways and then turn and march through the outer lines. Just behind the point where the bari sax player crosses the line is where I am.

Songs: Yes Sir That's My Baby, Music Music Music (Put Another Nickel In), Alexander's Ragtime Band

Show Title: Alexander's Music Baby

Lehigh-Laf (Halftime and After):

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtGuK72eXhA and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y84eTIds3I

So it's a little hard to see, but I'm on the viewer's right of the 45 yard line on the right side of the field in the back row. Actually, it ends up being the middle row (drumline's the last row). 

Songs: Livin' on a Prayer, Any Way You Want It

Show Title: Livin' Any Way You Want 

You can't see me for Marching Lehigh except for a very brief glimpse starting at 0:20. You can see the saxes start to turn around then. I will be the last alto sax in the line and a bari sax will turn right after me and pretty much block me from view. 

Song: Marching Lehigh

Show Title: Marching Lehigh

And in case anyone is wondering why it's called Marching Lehigh...the band spells out LEHIGH. Go look in the other shows. We always do it. After the song's over, drumline plays a cadence and the band looks like it scatters into chaos. Then we form a box and do Marching Lehigh.

Also, the YouTube account PubMan97 has this year's current shows. PubMan isn't a reference to alcohol - it's the exec in the band 'Publicity Manager', but we all call him/her the pubman. It's easier. We abbreviate everything. (StudCon - student conductor; StaffAss - staff assistant; PubMan - publicity manager, etc.)

Anyway, on that account this year's PubMan put up a Psyche Run (http://www.youtube.com/user/97PubMan#p/u/4/qS23S_KHvMQ) done by the band, I think at the Bucknell game. Basically what a Psyche Run is is when the band forms four lines between the two sides of the stadium. We scream and yell 'PSYCHE!!!' and run through and around each other in our lines and run to our side of the stands. You can't see the sheer danger of it all (we actually warn people out of the way for, like, a five foot radius around the edges) but it's pretty cool. Losing music, bandanas, and other stuff is common. So is falling and having people trip over you on accident.

For those wondering, you probably can't see EXACTLY where I am, but I usually end up near the gyro stand (that white tent), just to the viewer's right of the right edge. Saxes end up behind drumline so we don't usually run that fast, which is awesome. :D I think you can see a brief glimpse of me at 1:10. Again, you just have to look for the dip in the line and you've found me. The other short sax player is directly behind drumline.

~E

Oh the Freshmen have no band at Lafayette...

Warning: Contains mention of crude language and/or sexual innuendos. Also, word vomit and random topic changes.


Now that that's out of the way... the title's from a verse in a song the band sings often in regards to Lafayette:
Oh the freshmen have no band at Lafayette
(Lafay-WHAT??)
Oh the freshmen have no band at Lafayette
(Lafay-band?)
Oh the freshmen have no band
So they do their drills by hand
Oh the freshmen have no band at Lafayette!

--

So today was the Lehigh-Laf game. We won. I now have a very strong dislike for Lafayette. But I digress. Let's start from the beginning.

Today's call time was 7:30a at ZAC. We had morning practice and then went back to the loft to get dressed, relax, and eat sammiches. When we went out to the practice field, the grass was literally WHITE. Why? Because there was FROST on the GRASS. Everyone thought it was SOOO funny when I asked them what was wrong with the grass. (It was about 30 degrees this morning at practice :/)

Anyway, so we ate sammiches and what-not. Got dressed, and boarded the buses. We had nice temperature-controlled Coach buses which was awesome. So on the way to the game, one of the Execs on the bus  stood up and gave a little warning. He said that a lot of the tailgaters we go through will be drunk and to kind of ignore them. On the Lafayette side especially, they may do stupid things and to not react. Things may be thrown at us if they get mad enough, so we had to be on fairly decent behavior.

If you look at pictures of our band, we have birds in our shakos...this week we didn't wear our birds because Suits was worried that the tailgaters would rip them out of our shakos. When we marched, we got yelled at by Lafayette tailgaters. I almost expected them to actually throw something (other than insults and middle fingers) at us. They did, kind of. They threw slices of cheese at us. :/ Could be worse, but I expected something a bit more...dramatic than that.

Anyway, so after marching around, we go into the stadium intending to go and sit down...and find a five-ish-row portable bleacher waiting for us. We have 90 people plus big instruments. It wasn't very fun. They said, though, that Lehigh Athletics put it together for us and that though we told them that we had 100 people, Athletics KNEW that we needed space for 150.

(Do you think 97 people can fit on that thing? Factoring in instruments...150? Hmm...Can we say 'Fail'?)

Apparently it always happens like this. But, moving on...

So our show takes about 6-9 minutes, depending. That is, we play Living on a Prayer, Any Way You Want It, take about half a minute to go to the box, do Marching Lehigh, then drain. Lafayette gave us 5 minutes. But that's not the worst thing! So halftime starts and we go down to the field to set up...then the Lafayette Step Team and the Cheerleaders do their weird little dance thing. Then Lafayette's Pep Band meanders on to the field and plays...twice as long as they were supposed to. We were supposed to start at 9 minutes left on the clock...we probably started around 6. :( So we had to raise the tempo of the songs to meet the time limit and we skipped Marching Lehigh and drained straight from the box. It sucked a lot but more so for the seniors, 'cause it was their last game. (We ended up doing Marching Lehigh behind the bleachers near the Port-o-Potties ;) )

The bad thing, too, was that when we were standing on the side of the field while waiting to set up the Lafayette side was jeering at us.

"If you went to Lafayette you'd know how to read music!" "If you went to Lafayette you'd be smart enough to read your music!" (I didn't say it really made much sense).

One of the douchey things of them to say was when Carl, our cymbal player, was walking toward the drumline. "Hey! Why you playing the cymbals? Can't play anything else?"

To Carl's credit, he was more amused by it and said that he turned around and told the guy, "Why yes, actually." (I found out a little while ago that he's in drumline because not only does he like it, but he also cannot play an instrument and has no inclination to do so.)

Other things were jeered at us, some of them not making sense, but others being fairly cruel and hostile. But then again, this rivalry has been celebrated for YEARS. It shouldn't surprise me that there's a lot of crap going on about it. Hell, I've heard a lot about it just walking around campus and seeing the shirts and stuff people wear in celebration.

Now that all these weird and bad things have happened at Lehigh-Laf, I have a bad association with them. Goal of getting Erin to really dislike Lafayette: accomplished.

-

Another note of their band: they have a pep band not a marching band. So we kicked. their. ASS on the field. Even with about 5 or 6 minutes for our show. They walked ten paces on the field, turned around, and played a single song three times without even marking time. Then we proceeded to rush to our places and kick their butts by playing Living on a Prayer and Any Way You Want It and doing the Death Box of Doom (which I will post a link of later so you can see the sheer awesomeness of the move we had to pull off x) ).

WHAT NOW LAFAYETTE???

They're talking about making our halftime show super long next year when it's a home game so they have only like a minute for their contribution. x)

-

Another note: I played 'Lehigh Fight' at the game today and at the EcoFlame yesterday. Yesterday at the EcoFlame I also played parts of 'I Want You Back' (mostly the parts that weren't ridiculous eighth notes in weird combinations that span across half an octave). I'm so happy. :D And then...the season's over. :( We play in the playoffs, but we don't know yet. Either way I'm sad the season's over...and a little apprehensive about next year.

Let me back up a bit. There are two alto sax ranks, three if you count the rank with tenor and bari sax. There are currently two holes in the ranks, one in each. There are three seniors so next season there will, in theory, be five open spots if I stay in my rank. But I don't know what will happen. I mean, I can play all of two songs and parts of others. All I do is march. So I wonder...if more saxes come, what will happen to me? What will happen if more frosh come and the band goes over 97? I know it has in the past, but what will happen to me? Will I be kicked out of Rank 10? I'm a little....not worried, but apprehensive about next season. :( I kind of hope they don't, but at the same time it would kind of make sense. I mean, why keep me when they can have someone who actually knows what they're doing?

Bah. Anyway, we beat Lafayette and that's all that matters.

:)

~E

Major Changes...lol...pun intended

So I was thinking. I think I'm gonna change my major (well, I haven't technically declared it yet..but ah, those are semantics) to Materials Science and Engineering. It's kind of random, but I thought it was a...lol...major change.

I took a (mandatory) tour of the MatSci labs and found it really interesting. I don't have to declare my major until around March next year, so I have a lot of time, but I'm really considering going into MatSci. One of the uppers in band (that I know of) is in MatSci so I can always ask him about it. :)

Also...I hate registration. Nothing stirs the entire school into a state of panic and mass hysteria like 4 o'clocks and registration. :/

Anyway, I'm gonna go back to my homework. Gah, it's hard to do a homework set on integrals when your professor doesn't teach you about them. :(

E

Grades, Gambles and Exams

I'm somewhat worried about Calculus and I may be about to take a very dangerous gamble...

So the situation is that I got a D on my first exam despite how hard I studied. I studied even harder this time and got nine points higher. So if I was on the border with the D, then I could have a C right now. But anyway, I calculated my grades as of right now. Currently I have (most) of my grades for everything but the final exam, which is worth 200/500 points. So I calculated my grade for right now, minus the final exam, and came out with a 63%. So, generally that's a D+, and the lowest I can get to "pass" this class (aka get credit and move on with my life) is a C-. I don't know how the professor's going to get the grades from the percentages so...

Ok. So that's the situation. Now here is my gamble.

Today is the last day to drop a class with a "W" (withdraw). It will not show up on my transcripts that I have either passed or failed this class - I just took it and withdrew from it. Doing this means that I would take Calc 21 next semester instead of Calc 22 (and I heard they're harder the next semester because the only people in those classes are the ones who flunked out of the class before) and I would have to catch up with Calc 22 or an equivalent over the summer or something.

So right now I have two choices: take a dangerous gamble and keep the class and study so hard my ears bleed and hope that I score high enough on my final to offset my grade and get me at least a C- (that would require a score of around 150/200 if my calculations are correct). Or I could drop the class today and take Calc 22 over the summer sometime.

Something in me wants me to not take the gamble and withdraw from the class. I was talking to my rank leader and she explained that she was in the same boat as me and had just barely passed with a C-. When I told her about my abysmal grade, she didn't seem too worried so I'm a little hopeful...



On the plus side I got a 74 on my Physics exam. :D My recitation professor says that the class average is probably around 76...so since my score is within ten points of it, I probably get around a B. :3 I'm so relieved. And the funny thing is that I got full credit on a problem where I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and was just using random formulas and hoping that I got at least partial credit. x) And a good thing was that most of the graders seemed really lenient and gave me a lot of partial credit. At one point they circled my answer and said that I used the right formula for the wrong value but still gave me most of the points. :)

So even though I'm really bummed and worried about Calc, I know I at least did decent in Physics. :/

Well. I better go off to start studying Calc so hard my ears bleed and my brain implodes.

~E

P.S. On a much lighter note (on the topic of math) the 97 has a funny chant that (I think) only the engineers in band (which is, actually about 90%) can say.

Someone (it can be anyone) : Hey Engineers!
Band: Hey what?
Everyone: e^x, dy/dx! e^x, dy/dx! Secant! Tangent! Cosine! Sine! 3.14159! Go Engineers! Go Engineers! Hit 'em with a log...naturally!

Letters

Dear Professor Napier,

I respect that you are most likely a math genius if you are in charge of creating not only the tests but the homework problems sets. I respect that you are a "higher authority" and have probably worked hard for whatever degree that you have. That doesn't mean that I like you. In fact, I think I very much dislike you right about now. Who in their right mind gives entry level calculus students (and the entry level should be in quotations there) homework problems that NOT EVEN GRADUATE STUDENTS WHO VOLUNTEER THEIR TIME TO HELP STUDENTS TO DO THEIR HOMEWORK CAN DO?!?!

Yes, Professor Napier, I can see the logic in creating difficult problems that make us students think and to make sure by doing this that we understand fully the concepts that are being taught. However, you have to draw a line somewhere, and I draw the line when my tutor puts his head in his hands upon seeing the problems you give us and groans. I draw the line when not even math whiz freshmen in Calc 3 can't figure out how to do the problems you give us for homework. I draw the line when graduate student tutors say that not even they can figure out how to do the problem after spending, literally, an hour trying to solve it.

~E

--

Dear Saxophone,

Bring it.

~E

--

Dear Erin,

Eloped with your Social Life. You haven't been paying much attention to her and now you've lost me. Good luck with college.

~Your Sanity

--

Dear People in my Hall,

I don't care if you're loud and rude;
I don't care if you yell someone's running 'round nude;
I don't care if you scream and shout in the halls
And run around with bouncy balls.
I don't care if you don't like what I do
(because honestly I don't like what you do too);
I'm bothered when you barge in without knocking
And try to ignore your creepy stalking;
I don't care if you scream fire and doom;
Just don't do any of it in my room!

~E (It's a true story, sadly)

Word Vomit! :D

(Title: Basically this blog's going to be about a whole bunch of things that probably have very little to do with each other but are going to be clumped together anyway because I don't feel like making a million posts when I can do it in just one! :D )

1. Lehigh/Laf week :D
2. Saxophone? Sousaphone!
3. Football? What is this nonsense you speak of? (or, alternatively: What is the football team doing on our field?)
4. Thanksgiving adventure

1. Starting midnight tonight, it's going to be Lehigh/Laf week!! As my tutor and every other upper has said, it's going to be the best week EVER. I'd say a few more things about it but I don't want to be chastised by fam (the less you know, the better... ;) ). I am SOOOOOOO excited. It's hard not to when the whole school is abuzz...you can literally FEEL the excitement. It's the only thing anyone talks about and the band us PSYCHED about it.

2. (title of segment is from a silly video the band circulates every once in a while and which Charlie, who plays sousaphone, and Eamonn, a sax player in my rank, jokes about often. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTaupbVlRCI])Yesterday was Lehigh v Georgetown at. Lehigh won (24-7, I believe :) ). And it was the first game where I (attempted) to play, which made Alex and Laura really happy. A few times I got lost in the music so I had to stop (darn you lack of tempo when it comes to reading music!!) but I'm happy because I finally figured out how to play (just forcing myself to).

3. Since we won at Georgetown, I've just heard word that Lehigh has made it to the playoffs and depending on Athletics' view on the band, there is a good chance that they'll bus/fly us to wherever they're playing, which is AWESOME. :D

4. Actual conversation I had with Jose:
Jose: Wand me to bring you back turkey from my thanksgiving since you won't have one? :(
Me: ...I am actually having a thanksgiving. my friend and I are going to catch a few buses and go on a mini adventure that will take most of the day and in the end I will get to see my family :3
Jose: They making the trip?
Me: no
Jose: Using that awesome CISCO thingy with the TVs and stuff?
Me: ...?
Jose: Local family?
Me: Yes
Jose: Oh

Anyway, I look forward to a nice bus adventure. Hopefully I'll get to see some interesting stuff. I need to go to the bookstore and find a few good books so that I won't be entirely bored. :/ Hopefully I won't have any homework that my mean professors would make me do over the break. :(

I think that's it for now...I better go back to my homework.

Jya~

~E

Ohai Mr. Police Officer, Please Don't Eat Me...

(Title: There was a rank bonding last night and as I walked back to Emery, a police officer in his car was following *cough*stalking*cough* me for a while. When I got to a crosswalk he sped away, which was really weird and small kine creepy)

Plan of Action:

Today:
1:00-3:00 - Engineering 005 Lab, going to Peeps Factory today
4:15-undetermined time - Marching Band, Executive Candidate Speeches

Saturday:
7:30 - call-time at ZAC for Georgetown "Flame", will be gone all day

Sunday:
possible musubi party with other Hawaii students

Monday:
LEHIGH/LAF WEEK STARTS!!! :D

Tuesday:
building anticipation for Lehigh/Laf

Wednesday:
anticipation growing
10:00p - spring semester registration

Thursday:
GETTING CLOSER TO LEHIGH/LAF!!!

Friday:
ECOFLAME!! PLAYING MUSIC AROUND CAMPUS AND RANDOMLY INVADING CLASSROOMS TO PLAY FIGHT SONGS!!! :D (and by God I will learn the fight songs by then so I can actually play...even if it kills me!!)

Saturday:
LEHIGH/LAF GAME!! :D

~E

Dear Calculus Exam...

Dear Calculus Exam,

Even though we didn't start out as friends, it feels like we're starting to understand each other a bit...I'm still not happy about what you did to me yesterday, but perhaps we can get over those differences...? I would really like to get to know you better - you sound very interesting and worth knowing.

Still, what you pulled yesterday was totally NOT cool. I'm not very happy with you, Calculus Exam, but I think I'm finally starting to get a grasp of your strange quirks.

~E

Dear Physics Exam...

Dear Physics Exam...

There was no excuse for what you've done to me.

No, don't even talk to me, I don't want to hear it.

I thought we were good. I thought we had a good relationship going but then you go and pull....THAT on me!! You should be ashamed of yourself.

I don't know, Physics Exam...I stayed up late for you - got 3 hours of sleep and would've gotten less if I thought it would help. You lulled me into a false sense of security and then go and pull something like that. No, don't say anything. I don't want to hear your excuses.

Words cannot describe how much I hate you right now, Physics Exam. I'll be with Calculus now.

And no, you can't come.

~E

Conversations I Thought Were Worthy of Sharing...

Okay. So the first funny "conversation" happened in Calculus Recitation between a student and the TA:
TA: So you calculate the volume of the cone-
Student: Wait. Question. So will we be given the equations on the exam?
TA: ...I don't think so...
Student: You don't think so?
TA: ...I think they assume it is basic high school math that you all know...
Student: So we have to know, like, the surface area of a sphere or something?
TA: 4(pi)r^2.
Student: What?
TA: 4(pi)r^2. Surface area of a sphere. 4(pi)r^2.
Student: *to the rest of the class* Did anyone else know that?
Rest of the class: *either laughing or staring at him blankly*
Student: ...

-

Second funny conversation. This happened while I was waiting for a ride up to Goodman Stadium for band practice. I was shivering and someone in the band I regularly talk to (but we don't know each other's names, just everything else about each other :/ ) came by.

Me: Words cannot describe how cold I am. *shivers*
Alex (in the back): *laughs*
Other guy: *freaks out* I am soooooo sorry.
Me: ?! Huh?
Other guy: I am soooooooo sorry. I'm warm. (he's wearing a long-sleeved shirt and jeans)
Me: Heh. So is everyone else. (Almost everyone else is in a hoodie at most)
Other guy: I'm so sorry. To everyone else, it's like "wow, it's a nice autumn day". For you it must be like "holy shit it's below 60 degrees!"
Me: Heh. Pretty much. *shivers*
Other guy: *watches me shiver for a little while* I'm sooooooo sorry. If you need ANY warm clothes, let me know.
Me: *thinking it was kind of random* Huh?
Other guy: Seriously. If you need ANY warm clothes, let me know.
Me: *staring at him blankly*
Other guy: I'm from Montana, so I have absolutely NO shortage of warm clothes. If you need ANYTHING let me know.

Sadly, I must face the facts

My shoes are dead. I have holes in the sides. Thankfully I only have to wear them to band a few more weeks. But yeah. I have holes in my shoes and I wear black socks to practice so it doesn't look like I do. I'd wear boots but not only would I end up injuring myself and probably breaking my sax, but I'd probably injure others, especially when we form the Death Box.

Anyway. The second round of 4 o'clocks hover the school like a harbinger of failure. My first one for this round is tomorrow, Physics. My second and final one is on Thursday, Calculus.

Joy.

Despite my worst expectations, I'm actually doing all right in Calculus (I checked my grade online) but even so I need to do well on the exams to off-set the abysmal grade I got on the last round.

Well, back to studying. :/

~E

P.S.: For a nice reprieve, visit this site: http://www.dearblankpleaseblank.com/index.php?&page=7 It is SOOOOOOOO funny. Dear blank please blank has kept me sane while studying. :3

~E

Halloween

I just noticed that I neglected to mention Halloween. Well.

Here Halloween is a pretty big deal. For pretty much the entirety of October, I could see people getting ready for the last night of the month. Dining Services, in particular, were really into it. It seemed like every day there was a new addition to Rathbone in the mornings. It was hard not to get excited for Halloween, really.

But by the time it came around, the hype died down. Yeah, it was Halloween. And that ended it. Once Halloween was over...it was over. College life returned back to normal, as if Halloween hadn't even existed.

But anyway, I digress.

I dressed up as a mard (see two posts ago for details) with the rest of the fritch of the 97.

We have all the mards from, I think, 10 (or 5) to 45, but Kim was sick and couldn't come, so we had a hole in the 30 spot. Kim and I technically don't have a mard so we filled in the spots, Kim being 30 and me being 35 (obviously). Rebecca is the oddball because she doesn't really have a mard either, but her rank just gave her a small cone (because she plays sousaphone she is entitled to a smaller mard) and labeled it with her name. Her mard has no "place" so she puts it wherever she wants to. Since Kim wasn't here, she popped herself in as the 30.

So we all went down to the band party and "flamed" it. Meaning we marched in in order and sang GRL^2. It was a fun night. :)

E

Doctors

I should probably visit the Counseling and Psychological Services. I've been having some issues lately.

-Yesterday I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown where I somewhat randomly started crying during band practice before the game. Thankfully only the other rank 10 frosh noticed so it wasn't so bad. Basically the reason I freaked out was because I was having a difficult time marching even though the drill was really easy, mostly because I kept losing track of the counts and also because I had to leave early one day, missing the new moves added to the drills. In the last song I had to follow Alex in front of me. :( This is hard for me because all I really can contribute to rank 10 right now is my marching and if I'm not doing good then I'm only a liability to them. In the pre-game I was in my spot but the rank that moves perpendicular to us came too far back so instead of bisecting our rank between me and Matt, they split me and Alex, so that when we turned and did a pinwheel, I had to follow Matt. And then Alex yelled at me to get back in my "actual" spot. (the reason I hadn't done that earlier was because she was too close behind me for me to back up and because I figured I'd move when we completed the pinwheel and there was space to move. :/)
But something tells me I'm going to have another one soon which really isn't good.

-Lately I've been having a hard time concentrating and my mind continues to wander. I'd try really hard to concentrate but I get distracted easily.

-Lately I've been thinking about how my childhood experiences have shaped my actions today. That in itself isn't very...distressing, but seeing people (especially my non-frosh rank-mates) looking at me funny when I do something "weird" because of said experiences is distressing.

-I've been having other issues I don't really want to discuss here or with anyone so...urgh.

I just want to curl up and die. Especially since our second round of 4 o'clocks are coming up.

I'll make an appointment for this week. Oh, and I have to meet with my academic advisor for next semester's classes. I should take a band elective. Maybe then I'll be able to learn sax.

~E

Mard? Mard? Mard?

Lehigh/Bucknell Psyche Run: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS23S_KHvMQ
Lehigh/Bucknell Pregame show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruaudg_P2Mc
Lehigh/Bucknell Halftime show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_G0FgENuEA

Title explanation:
Mard [mahrd] -noun:
1. a traffic cone
2. a traffic cone "procured" by the Lehigh Marching 97
3. the combination of the words "yard" and "marker"
4. a traffic cone "procured" by the Lehigh Marching 97 and used as a yard marker
5. something a frosh or fritch* carries every day at practice as a mark of their status or lack of one

(*Fritch [frich] -noun, plural fritch. Informal.
a specifically female college or high-school freshman, according to the Lehigh Marching 97. General term: frosh, specific: fritch)
Meaning, a frosh isn't always a fritch but a fritch is always a frosh. You only use "fritch" to be specific. We're all called frosh anyway so you rarely hear the word "fritch" when referring to a female frosh. As my rank-mate says, "Rank 10 frosh best friends". She says this because there are two fritch and one frosh - she can't say "Rank 10 fritch best friends" because she'd exclude the one [male] frosh in our rank (unless she's only talking about me and her).


The fritch of the 97 are dressing up together for Halloween.

On the note of the mards, it is kind of pathetic how many kleptomaniacs we have in the 97, and how often we use the word "procure" to describe something we've done. In example, when we play a certain song at the game (the "official" title is 1075) the frosh get together and march around the stadium, looking for someone to conduct for the band for this particular song. Then we march them back and have a whole...er...script to go through with them...and we find two volunteers from the band to strip (the song's actual title is "Stripper").

Student Conductor (StudCon): Hey band!
Band: Hey what?
StudCon: Look what the frosh have procured for us!
Band: Yay!
StudCon: What do we want them to do?
Band: Conduct!
StudCon: What do we want them to conduct?
Band: 1075
StudCon: How do we do that?
Band: Down, across chest, out, up, down, across chest, out, up

Anyway, the band likes to "procure" stuff. I don't even want to know what they procure anymore. :/ But I know that whenever a guy frosh (it's more them than the fritch, I think) sees a mard (or a ball, can't forget those) they start yelling out "Mard!" (or "Ball!") like the seagulls from Finding Nemo. 


~E

Lol. Emo poetry ^^;

I was looking through my files for my GC paper and found...this... I wrote it in Rathbone during Pacing Break when everyone was gone. I got a bit lonely and...this...well, came out.

Verse 1 refers to Pacing Break

Verses 3 and 7 (I think) refers to the band.

The rest are just things I thought up of different situations I regret. :/

I actually like this poem a lot. Depressing, but I'm kind of proud of it...yeah...

Loneliness Is...

Loneliness is being left behind

smiling to hide the pain inside

watching them leave and knowing

you can't follow.

Loneliness is too much time to think

too little to speak

an eternity to agonize

and words left unsaid

Loneliness is feeling useless

feeling you aren't a big enough part

trying to fill in the gaps

but not well enough to sing the part

Loneliness is smiling without joy

happiness with empty eyes

a hollow heart

an empty soul

Loneliness is pulling on a mask

pretending your fine

dancing like you're happy

while inside you cry

Loneliness is emptiness

a void in a heartless chest

a black hole that devours joy

and magnifies sorrow

Loneliness is not feeling good enough

feeling as if you always have to prove your worth

trying to fill shoes too big

pretending you can when you can't

Loneliness is the darkness that devours your soul

shatters your heart

creates a monster out of you

and leaves behind a shell of who you once were.

~E

4 Minutes of Bromance

That was, seriously, what our last show was called. They tend to group together the names of the two songs we play. x) Our songs this week were 4 Minutes and Bad Romance. Our drum major even dressed up like Lady GaGa for this, too. It was really funny because he had a blonde wig, a mirrored mask, and a weird plastic thing in place of his mace. It looked like a giant Q-Tip. :/

Anyway, the main reason I'm bringing this us is because...I PLAYED MY FIRST SHOW!!! :D

These two were the best first songs for me to play (as in show songs) because the saxophone parts are mostly one note. In 4 Minutes it's mostly high E and in Bad Romance there's a lot of C Sharps, which are fairly easy to play. I was also bullied into playing by my mentor. Most of the C Sharps were eighth notes so I didn't play those. However, I know from low C to high C (not counting the high E) so I could play most of the half notes in between, most of which consisted of C Sharp, A, and B. :) I. Am. SOOO happy. Even if I forgot to march a few times and ended up having Matt run into me or some such. ^^;

I'm happy with my performance (save for the part where I forgot to march) overall.

Show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_G0FgENuEA If you're curious, Rank 10 is the long line in the 4 on the left side. To look for me, find the place where the line dips - that is where me and Alex are. We're the shortest. ^^;

~E

Purple For Pride and other Thoughts

So I was on Facebook and I see about three to five invites to wear purple on Wednesday in memory of those who committed suicide due to homophobic bullying. Which got me thinking a bit about homosexuality. It's kind of a random thought, really.

Recently I had a song called "It's Okay to be Gay" by Tomboy stuck in my head. There's a lot of sexual innuendos but to me it's kind of a joking song where a lot of guys are dressed in drag, etc. It's too complicated to even think about. :/ I was watching the video on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j4t185wl-0) and saw a link in the "Related Videos" section called "Gay Education". Curious, I clicked on it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY&feature=related).

It was about how homosexuality is genetic and not a choice. Some of the things I remember from Psychology and Sociology, where a guy with a lot of older brothers may end up being gay because their mother's body saw the male fetus as an "invader" and tried to "feminize" it with female hormones. The more males the woman has the better her body became at "feminizing" the fetus and making it so that her body didn't recognize it as an invader so much.

I was talking to Jenna and asked if she thought it was a choice. She did. If I remember correctly she thought that it was along the lines that we can choose to "be true to ourselves" and "listen" to our feelings or not.

Perhaps I am naive but I like to think that gender doesn't matter if you really care about that person. I can honestly care less. A part of me is a little...unnerved sometimes, but it makes me feel really bad because that's only the part of me that listens to society and is conditioned to follow societal norms. Just because someone is bisexual or homosexual doesn't mean that they are an entirely different species - we're all the same, essentially. We may not be completely the same, but we have similar likes and dislikes, loves and hates, feelings and cultures. We have similar goals and though we may not all look exactly alike, we all have a head, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, two ears, to hands, two feet, two arms, two legs, organs (both internal and external) and a soul. We may not have the same religion but we all believe in one thing or another, each to varying degrees.

I like to think we are all bisexual and our level of attraction to the opposite sex versus the same sex are what "decides" for us who we like and dislike, if that makes any sense. To rephrase, I like to think that we are all bisexual but to varying degrees. Think of a number line. On one end is homosexuality and on the other end is heterosexuality. There are only shades of grey where we all fall in. Some are ostensibly closer to the "homosexual" side while others fall closer to the "heterosexual" side. Some aren't sure and teeter in the middle, like standing on the pivot point of a see-saw.

Homosexual | --------------------------| Bisexual |----------------------------| Heterosexual

Homophobia bothers me. Perhaps I'm a bit hypocritical, but I don't mind so much when there are protests - they have the right to share their ideas and that's fine by me. But when it gets to the point where they're saying that homosexuality is immoral and we're all going to go to hell for it is when it kind of starts bothering me. When people are so close-minded to bully others (in any way shape or form for any reason) is when it really bothers me. It's like saying I'll be beat up if I choose a red scarf over a blue one. It's my own choice to choose a red scarf because it's my favorite color. Maybe the blue one wasn't warm enough and the red one was warmer. I have my own reason for choosing the red scarf over the blue one and I don't think I should be persecuted because of it. The same thing should apply for homosexuality, whether it's a personal choice or it's genetics. Why should it matter? Seriously.

I've seen a lot of posts like this. It bothers me a lot. Maybe they're not all true, but regardless. I, personally, may not have seen many homophobic people. (I say "may" because I don't know and don't pry) I don't like to think that this still happens, but reading the pot on Facebook about the college students who committed suicide because of homophobic bullying...it makes me wonder. It probably goes on more often than we are all aware.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.


~E

Don't Send my Boy to Harvard...

...they dying mother said
Don't send my boy to Syracuse
I'd rather see him dead
But send my boy to Lehigh
'tis better than Cornell
but as for Pennsylvania...
I'D SEE HIM FIRST IN HELL!
~Band song

I went with the band this weekend to Harvard. It's  pretty nice campus but the people there are nasty. :/

Anyway, it was a 5-hour drive. I was stuck in a car with all guys. It was very interesting. When we got lost, the driver, a guy named Bingold told me that guys don't ask for directions so if worst came to worse I'd have to get out and ask. I told him I didn't mind and he looked at me funny.

Anyway, this was my schedule on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday:
3:00p finish Engineering lab and head over to Bingold's house
3:15p leave and start our road trip
5-ish find a McDonalds and stop there to eat dinner
5:30p-ish resume trip
8:30-9:00p arrive at Boston University
2:30a-ish go to sleep
7:45a wake up
8:45a arrive at Boston University band room
9:20a-ish leave for IHOP and Harvard
9:30a-ish get lost on way to IHOP and Harvard
9:45a finally make way to Harvard
9:45-10:00a argue with parking attendant
10:10a find way to IHOP
11:30a return to field to practice
12:00p decide it wasn't worth practicing and entered game
4:00p go to dinner at UNO's
7:00p leave Boston/Cambridge and start driving back
11:00p-ish return to Lehigh
11:15p unpack and shower
12:00a sleep
8:50a wake up
9:00a go back to sleep
9:10a wake up and realize snoozed
9:20a get ready
9:30a check messages and get dressed
9:50a walk out to Rathbone to meet the paintball club
10:15a leave for LVP South Paintball Park
10:45a arrive at LVP South
11:30a finish getting gear
12:00p start first game
4:30p finish last game
5:10p get back at Lehigh

That was pretty much my weekend. :/

Harvard was actually pretty nice - it's just that the people weren't so friendly. The excursion we did is called a "Flame" and the band usually goes up one day early to get to know another school's band. However, Harvard apparently didn't want to host us so we called on a few friends at Boston University a few minutes away. They hosted us which was really nice of them.

About twenty of us were stuffed into a living room, so a lot of people were sharing space. On the futon couches (they pulled out) there were at least two people (mine had three), a few slept on the floor, and a few curled up on recliner chairs. It was so funny. :)

Then when we finally got to Harvard, the parking attendants let the first few in but a new attendant-lady came. She told our car and the cars after mine (we were the fourth, I think) that we weren't on a bus so we weren't "official" so we didn't get any parking stalls. We had to pay $5 for parking. :/

Then on Sunday I went paintballing with the paintball club. I was the only girl in a group of guys. x) The first time I got shot it was in the neck. :/ Then I got shot like a second later in the chest. The third and fourth time was in the last game where I got shot in the head twice when I was peeking out from behind a bunker.

All in all it was a fun weekend. :)

~E

FML Take 2

Just got back from Physics recitation.

Got my scores back from my 4 o'clock.

Shoot me now.

~E

New Sign

When I was visiting a friend either in Dravo or M n' M, I saw a sign like this and thought to myself dang that's awesome. So I made one for myself. :3

The spaces are for me to put my magnets for the option.

~E

Another Reason why the '97 are Awesome

First off, I want to mention my physics lab. It's usually on Mondays from 7-10p but since there was Pacing Break, it was rescheduled. Some people had theirs cancelled but ours was supposed to be moved to Wednesday, last night. Well, I showed up with less than half the class and waited...and waited....when he didn't show up, we left. x) It was AWESOME~. I feel a little bad because no one in the class likes the professor. They call him Weenie because his name is Wie Nie or something similar. He's really nice, though and we all agree that we like him as our lab professor. "He's super chill," they say. :)

Now. On to another reason why the '97 are awesome.

Two words: midnight kickball.

So I'm not sure if I mentioned this here, but the band does a lot of bonding activities that are entirely optional. One of them is "midweeks", where on Tuesday night whoever wants to go meets at Campus Square and the uppers drive us all to a pre-determined place to eat, usually some sort of diner. The second is midnight kickball. It's held on Wednesdays near the STEPS building, yes, at midnight.

I went for the first time last night. It was sooooo cold. I was only breathing out and I could see my breath - very clearly. It was rather unnerving. We started out with only three people and determined that it would be very difficult to play kickball with three people on each team. So we decided to play soccer instead. Then a few others showed up and we played five-on-five. I was defense. :3 It felt nice to play soccer again and the others always cheered whenever I tackled somebody...it was kind of funny. Then I was asked to target somebody - if I could tackle him, I had to go for it. I didn't get the opportunity. :(

But by the end of the game (my team won, yay! :D ) I was sweating in my hoodie. So I took it off and walked back up to my dorm with only a long-sleeved shirt on. I could see the steam rising off the players who were doing the most running. It was weird and funny all in one. Didn't go to sleep until almost 2. I'm super tired but...meh. It was worth it. :)

~E

Pacing Break

I miss the peace and quiet of pacing break. Sure there wasn't much to do, but the hall was nice and quiet.

Now that everyone's back, the hall is awash with sound.

I forgot how loud girls could be.

Hmph.

~E

Dream On

Emery Room E315
9 October 2010
19:29:


"A dream can be the highest point of a life."
~Ben Okri

"The other night dear as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried."
~You Are my Sunshine by Johnny Cash

Last night I dreamt about my saxophone. As with many dreams, my surroundings were hazy but I had the impression that I was in a small room, like a music practice room. I was sitting down with my sax, setting up and inspecting my reed. Both in my dream and in real life I had managed to break it as I am required to FULLY set up my sax every time we practice and march even though I don't play - the reed got dry and probably broke sometime when I was moving.

In my dream,the instrument manager had replaced my reed and now I sucked on it while I pulled my neck strap over my head and hooked the bottom half of my sax to it so that it hung from my neck. I pulled on the neck and then twisted on the mouthpiece. Moving my reed in my mouth to make sure it was wet enough, I pulled out my lyre and music, attaching them and then looking through my choices. Not that I could really play any of it, but I figured I'd start relatively easy. I pulled my reed out of my mouth and attached it to the mouthpiece, adjusting my neck strap so that it was at a comfortable level with my lips.

Well, here goes nothing. I took a deep breath and blew. To my surprise, instead of a squeak, squeal, hissing, or no sound at all, a mellow sound - the sound of a correctly played alto sax - emerged from my instrument. I blinked and tried again, this time trying to play a note. I went for a G, because it seemed simple enough. To my utter shock, the same thing happened - I played a note without much difficulty.

I moved my fingers and tried for an A. The same thing. I moved my fingers to a low D. Not surprising I had more difficulty, but after only a low, raspy croak I got a D. I tried to play a scale from low C to high C and only got about four rasps or squeaks.

Yes, it was still difficult for me to play, but...I was playing. I remember being so happy in my dream.

And then I woke up and realized....it was just a dream. My reed was still broken and I still couldn't play.

Today was the Lehigh vs. Fordham game at Lehigh. Most of the band was gone for Pacing Break so there were about twenty of the almost-97 people in band there. I wasn't going to go originally, seeing as I can't play, but the guy in charge convinced me to come. All I did was get in free, get free food, and sit there. That's about it. I had to mime playing my sax for a while, but that's about all I did.

I don't think I've mentioned it here but I feel absolutely USELESS in band. All I'm doing right now is filling a hole in Rank 10. That's about it. I can't play for pep band or for the show. And it's not that I'm too proud to admit it, but I just don't LIKE to because it makes me feel more useless. I mean, I have music and I occasionally follow along but I can't play. Someone asks me why I'm not playing on the occasion they catch me with my sax down and I tell them I can't play. Then they look at me like 'uh...then why are you playing sax?'

If I think about it rationally, there are two ranks of alto sax. That means, if both are full, there are about sixteen sax players. I think there are two holes (so there's fourteen...about) so I REALLY don't have to worry about playing, but still. I mean, I watch Matt, Dan, Eamonn, and Alex play around me and I can't help but feel bad. I mean, I'm just marching or marking time or something. I hold a sax and pretend to play but I'm not - so I'm not contributing much to rank 10.

Eamonn, Hope, and Matt try to engage me a few times but they always forget I can't play (though I think Eamonn remembers more than Hope and Matt) and I have to tell them that no, I won't come that much closer because I don't want to be in the way - I can't play, you know. Or when Hope says, you don't have to stand that far away. I know you're not really playing, but you can come closer. And then Dan hears and looks at me and I feel SO BAD. :( And sometimes Matt thinks that I'm not playing because I don't have music and then I have to tell him that I'm not playing because I CAN'T, not because I don't have music.

Other than the immense and ridiculous amounts of guilt I feel whenever I set up my sax, I really like the Marching '97.

~E

Marching Band Festival

Once 4 o'clocks are over, I'll discuss this more, but here's a funny thing I should mention: the announcer kept calling us by different names:

-Lehigh University's Marching '97
-Lehigh Valley's Marching Band
-Lehigh Valley College Band
-Lehigh Valley College-University Marching Band '97

Lol.

Here's the link for the band show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fepb59Fin50

Keep an eye out for the L, the spinning star of death, and 'K Bai!' (and LEHIGH)

~E

C'est la guerre

It was cold this morning. I wore my Uggs and thick black coat Aunty Kehau bought for me. I was still cold and a seam in the boots gave me a blister on my ankle, but at least my feet were still warm.

I had my first 4 o'clock exam today. It was all right - easier than I expected and the first problem was my favorite - I love kinematics problems. This one was about Spiderman on the side of a building throwing a ball in the air.

After that I had my last evoLUtion seminar, which is required for freshmen. It was boring.

Then I had dinner and went to study. Tired. Hate calculus. Want to sleep but can't.

~E

FML

Tomorrow:
3 classes
start at 8a
physics midterm at 4

Thursday:
2 classes
start at 8:20a
calculus midterm at 4
marching band at 5

Physics: allowed to bring 1 page, 8.5'x11', single-sided, handwritten notes.

Calculus: no notes allowed

Physics: some understanding

Calculus: very little understanding

Physics: graded on a curve

Calculus: not

Physics: easy to recover

Calculus: exam is worth 100/500 points


I'm doomed. I don't even want to wake up tomorrow. ;0;

~E

"Do you speak Spanish? Habla espanol?" "...Uh...no."

Someone asked me that when she heard that I was from Hawaii. She was from Greece and laughed when she realized that I didn't understand a word she was saying (she was fluent in Spanish) and told her dryly, "No habla Espanol."

Anyway, it feels like I'm sometimes an ESL student. Lord knows I talk like one anyway, but it feels like I'm a "foreign" student in an entirely new world.

"Do you have your Hunters on?" my hallmate yelled down the hall at me this morning. When she saw I was in my usual, beat-up sneakers, she frowned. "Do you have Hunters? Why aren't you wearing them?"


(As I mentioned before, I just recently found out that "Hunters" are a brand of rain boots. Who knew?)

It feels like I know the language here, but I don't understand. Somehow, some way, people talk differently in different situations. When it's raining, their voices are subdued, as if allowing them to be washed away by the rain. In thunderstorms they're loud indoors but outdoors they're quiet, as if afraid the lightning will "see" them and shock them.

When I was walking back up to Upper Cents, I found a guy in a yellow rain jacket trying to get into the laundry room. I had seen him head down from Leavitt and get stuck at the door. He turned and looked sheepishly at me as I approached. "I can't get in," he mumbled.

I blinked at him. "It won't let you in?"

"No. I heard there was a problem with the door lock a few days ago, but it was supposed to be fixed. I live in Leavitt." he assured me, misinterpreting my quiet frown.

It had taken me a while to get the gist of what he was saying. Not only did he have an accent (New Jersey, maybe?), but his voice was muffled and he spoke softly. I swiped him in and he flashed me a quick grin, shaking his head. He gave me a quick thanks! and slipped into the laundry room, pulling his laundry bag after him. It was gonna suck to carry it inside after he had dried it. I hope he had an umbrella.

In that time it took me to figure out what he was saying, I felt like a foreign student with only a bare grasp of English.

Usually accents don't bother me, unless they're very strong, enough that they entirely change the sound of the word or letters of it. Even then I only have trouble with a few words but can pick up the rest from context clues. But...it seems like people talk differently for different situations. It's weird.

Also, I've been told that I switch accents. I totally don't notice it, but they mentioned that when I say certain things, depending how often I've heard them, I'll say them in a certain accent. They say it's slight, but enough that they find it very amusing. I want to go home with a strong New York accent, but I doubt it'll happen.  :/

~E

Just What the Doctor Ordered

I've noticed lately that I've been having trouble concentrating. It's not because I'm sleepy - it's because my mind wanders. My mind is constantly jumping from topic to topic, creating a convoluted web of thoughts and images. Usually when it gets bad, I'd sit down and either let them play out in my mind while drawing aimlessly, or I'd sit down and write it out until I have a chunk of a story that unwound in my mind.

Since I've started college, I don't have much time for this. I'm always doing work and I find myself sitting and staring into space more often than not. In lectures, when my professors are going over something I'm somewhat familiar with (thank God for small blessings) I'd find myself thinking about something else until I had completely deviated from the original thought and am staring blankly at the board. As my "condition" worsens, I find it harder to refocus my eyes on the board and not the soap opera in my mind.

I wish I could just do this - cut out the top of my head and bleed out the thoughts and ideas until I can concentrate again. Sometime this week I'll have to find time to bleed it out or I won't be able to study for my 4 o'clocks. :/

~E

Color Guard~

Emery Room E315
24:07
On the Events of This Night:


Tonight was something the band calls "midweeks". Basically they drive in a group to an outside place and have a midnight meal. I decided not to go this week, as I had to do some Physics work. However...

I was introduced to this guy via Lauren and her roommate Mei-Fan. He was in color guard for five years in high school and we both agreed to flag together sometime. When he found out that I had never used a rifle before, he offered to teach me. My first lesson was earlier, at 10-ish in the courtyard area of his housing complex.

Apparently the "simple" and "basic" moves he taught me aren't what I can do; the ones I did get, he told me were the more difficult and complex ones that I somehow managed to grasp quicker. And I was apparently able to toss a "double" rather than a "single" which was pretty funny; usually it's the other way around. He taught me a short routine he came up with on the spot, basically a compilation of a bunch of moves I could grasp so that it would be a pattern I could practice often. :3

I know I'm going to be in pain tomorrow, and I think I'm going to have at least a bruise on my right palm (I smacked it pretty hard when trying to do a "single") and my wrist (same as the palm). My shoulders are tight and my bicep hurts, but it feels nice to be exercising with a flag-ish thing. He taught me parts of dance, too, so it gave my moves "character" as he puts it.

I'm thrilled. And super tired.

Sleeping now.

~E

Just a Thought...

Somehow the weirdest thoughts come out when I'm in the shower. :/

I was thinking about choices and pre-destiny. I had met two people from different countries: a girl from Greece and a boy from Kenya and they were both in my Engineering 005 class. We had lunch together and later on I thought about what we talked about. It wasn't much, and they asked me more questions than I asked them, but it got me thinking what if.

What if I hadn't looked into Lehigh University?
What if I hadn't been accepted?
What if I hadn't even applied?

Certainly I would be going to an east-coast school - maybe George Washington University because after Lehigh, it was my first choice. Or maybe University of Maryland, or Old Dominion as an honor student. What if I hadn't listened to mom and looked into Lehigh?

Let's go back a bit further.

What if I hadn't gone to summer school and taken Career/Life Guidance? (year before freshman year) I probably wouldn't know my major.
What if I had stuck with artisan? Or a job that only required trade school? I obviously wouldn't be here. But of course, to me the choice was clear: I would go to college.
What if I hadn't gone to the National Youth Leadership Forum? What if I had just told mom nah, I don't wanna go? I wouldn't have realized how strangely beautiful the east coast was. I wouldn't have realized that I wanted to help, not just go into engineering because I liked it. What if I hadn't gone? I wouldn't know what to do with my life.

Here's one that's making me think hard: what if I hadn't met Tokes, Donnelly, Kennedy, Miyashiro? What if I hadn't met Jenna, Richard, Erin, Jennifer, Connie, Nani, Christian? What then?

Tokes. He was hands-down the most inspirational. He showed me through his actions that the world wasn't about books. He made me be aware of what's going on around me and encouraged me to pursue my interests, especially in random facts - he seemed to know them all!

Donnelly. Well, even though she was only a recent addition to my list, her kind words were inspirational to me. Nuff said.

Kennedy. Now here's a conundrum. His teaching style wasn't like other teachers'. In fact, nothing about him was like anyone else that I had ever met. I know that when I first met him, I didn't quite know what to make of him. He stood outside the door and greeted us by name, shaking our hands with a smile on his face. When he wrote "letters" to us with our assignments on them, he always wrote "Dear Friends". He showed me that the little things count and that there is more than one way to look at a problem. He showed me patience and made me laugh, especially when we practiced our argument essays. He found ways to make the class fun and seemed to have an endless supply of patience.

Miyashiro. She looked like a student and acted like someone on a perpetual caffeine high. But she was willing to stop and listen - and she knew what was going on with me! There were around 300 people in our class but she knew us all by name and could, usually very accurately, ask about an aspect of our school lives.

Jenna. I don't even know. I mean, she had slipped so easily into my life as if she belonged there and now I can't ever imagine her not. Same goes for all my other friends. I almost expect them to be there when I head out of my room. Sometimes I find myself about to call them to join me for breakfast or some other meal only to remember that they're not even in the same state as me, or even within a hundred-mile radius.

I can list more. What if this, what if that. But somehow everything worked out. Yet...

I can never grasp the idea of predestination. To me, everything seems like chance. I can't imagine how everything like this that's happened to me is planned out. Every second, every minute, every hour...

~E

The Day Dawned Cold and Rainy

Emery Room E315
17:05
On the events of Today:


I only put the title like that because, for some reason, it is my favorite phrase in any given novel. I have NO idea why. But it DID dawn cold and rainy. AND I LOVED IT xD.

But anyway, I wanted to use some of this time to address something I believe I mentioned once earlier, I think in the blog about the diet of freshmen (don't remember the title).

When talking to Jenna, we've discussed how we've changed. She says she swears more. I've become impatient and sometimes aggressive. Not too bad, but I've noticed while I'm still rather quiet, I've taken to telling people point-blank that I have to go, kthanksbai. I don't necessarily talk back to people, but I will now tell them no, I cannot go to/do _______. I think it's mostly because I don't have much time anyway, so I can't "waste" much on doing "trivial" things. If I need to study, I will tell people (usually just my friends or my hall mates unless they're here for Bianca): get out of my room. NOW.


It also may be a sort of "defense mechanism" in addition to the fact that I have very little time left to myself. Even while it's still difficult for me to "loosen up", it's a lot easier for me now, especially since it's more for survival now rather than an actual choice. Meaning, if I DON'T loosen up, I'd go crazy without fail.

I'm not sure what more to add, so I'll end it here. I have to do some work. :(

~E

Terauchi, you LIED to me

I distinctly remember him teaching about uniform circular motion. He described that there were two forces: a centripetal force (a force pointing inward) and a centrifugal force (a force pointing outward supposedly according Newton's Third Law that every action has an equal and opposite reaction). Here is what my textbook says:

Figure 5.30b is incorrect because it includes an extra outward force of magnitude m(v^2/R) to "keep the body out there" or "to keep it in equilibrium". There are three reasons not to include such an outward force, usually called centrifugal force ("centrifugal" means "fleeing from the center"). First, the body does not "stay out there": It is in constant motion around its circular path. Because its velocity is constantly changing in direction, the body accelerates and is not in equilibrium. Second, if there were an additional outward force that balanced the inward force, the net force would be zero and the body would move in a straight line, not a circle. And third, the quantity m(v^2/R) is not a force; it corresponds to the ma side of net force F=ma and does not appear in the sum of F. It's true that when you ride in a car that goes around a circular path, you tend to slide to the outside of the turn as though there was a "centrifugal force". But we saw in Section 4.2 that what really happens is that you tend to keep moving in a straight line, and the outer side of the car "runs into" you as the car turns. In an inertial frame of reference there is no such thing as "centrifugal force". We won't mention this term again, and we strongly advise you to avoid using it as well.


Also, as a side note, I noticed that the ways he taught us to measure parabolic motion of falling bodies, while very simple and creative, does not help here. We use trig, not measurements and drawings, as sad as I am to say. And my professor actually cares if I went up to him and told him I was concerned, he'd make an appointment with me and discuss it with me like I was his equal rather than a student he was paid to teach. And even if I am supposedly "wasting my money" coming here because I "have bad study skills and will only end up wasting money", I will at least have a quality education in a social and communal environment where teachers are kind and willing to talk to students as if they were real people.

I'm half-tempted to bring it up to him next time I see him. See what he says. :/ But then again, he'd only tell me that I'm not studying well enough or something.

I like my professor that supposedly doesn't care about me according to Terauchi but actually does and has stories that make sense and isn't about inflating his ego.

Sorry.

That is all.

~E

Freshman's Dilemma

Emery Room E315 (because apparently the E matters :/ )

9:45a

23 September 2010
As a freshman, we're usually terrified of college. We're so paranoid that we're going to fail, to fall behind that early in the year we study hard, become caffeine addicts, forget meals, and lock ourselves in our room or in the library just studying, studying, studying...

After the second week we start realizing that it's not as...difficult as we expected. It's hard, yes, but we get it into our little heads that we can have fun, too. (Apparently Lehigh is a party school but it's just not known as one) Not that we neglect our studies, but we start to relax and "go with the flow". And then you're like, damnit I forgot to do this or get that.

But that's a topic for another day. I actually wanted to talk about the importance of diet to a freshman, especially a female freshman.

We're all terrified of getting the famed "Freshman 15". It's common knowledge here that it's very hard to get the Freshman 15 here. We're built on the side of a mountain and to get back to your dorm means you have to climb uphill. Or, if you're lazy, you take the TRACS bus. But even with the TRACS bus, you have to climb up and down a lot of stairs to get to your room or your class - few buildings have elevators, after all and it sucks to break your leg on campus. :/

For me, at least, I don't worry about the Freshman 15 because, quite frankly, I could care less. If someone dares to call me fat, it will not be pretty. (I guess in another blog I should talk about attitude changes in college...) :/  Anyway, I don't worry much because I usually eat healthy, especially in the mornings. My breakfast usually consists of:
-a full plate of watermelon
-bacon if they have, no meat if they don't
-sometimes a bagel with cream cheese
-a cup of coffee with lots of cream (2% just doesn't cut it for me) and three packets of Equal
-sometimes a bowl of cereal with milk
-sometimes a small bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar

I don't usually eat lunch because a lot of my classes are around then. This Saturday I'm going down to S. Bethlehem and getting a box of poptarts, granola bars and other essentials (as well as a few gifts for the fam - they have some really nice stuff here). That way I have something to munch on in my bag other than senbei.

Dinner depends on where I eat. When I eat in the Hawk's Nest, which is fairly rare, I get a burger and fries or a quesadilla. In Rathbone, the dining hall across the street from me, I usually get a slice of pizza, pasta with marinara sauce, whatever meat is offered, mashed potatoes if they have, and the "vegetable du jour".

I eat fairly healthy, really, and I get a lot of exercise ( :/ ). Stupid hills.

But every once in a while my stomach acts up and I have to run to the bathroom. (It's really embarrassing to run across your recitation class and out the door, especially since there are less than 20 people there). Which leads me to my point: it's hard to be really healthy as a Hawaiian freshman in college.

I know partially why my stomach acts up - it's not used to the plentiful and potent spices these mainland people put on their meat (the offered meat I eat for dinner in Rathbone) and the fact that I absolutely cannot drink the water here. I have to scrounge for bottle water or take only very small sips of the water. On occasion, when I get desperate enough, I hold my breath and gulp down a lot of it from a water fountain (which is somehow better, especially the one in Lewis Lab, which is really weird).

Because we weren't raised in the mainland where they put fluoride in their water like it's no joke, we're not used to the harsh, chemical taste of the water. Sometimes I find myself coughing because the chemicals burn my throat. The other day, I had considered going to talk to the Red Cross volunteers about giving blood (but this is another story for another day). Knowing this, I went to the water dispenser (I was in Rathbone at the time) and filled my cup with water. Getting back to my seat, I forgot it was chemicalized (it's a word now >( ) and gulped down some. Steph looked a little worried when I immediately started coughing. I told her the water tasted bad and hurt my throat sometimes. She asked if I was sick and I told her no, I wasn't even though she kept coughing at me; it was because the water tastes like chlorine. She told me rather bluntly that they don't put chlorine in the water - it's fluoride - and the water tastes just fine. My water sat untouched for the rest of the meal.

As a freshman I, at least, became an opportunistic eater. If there's food, I'd nibble on it. If there's bottled water, I'd drink it. I'd only go to the dining hall if I had time (which is usually why I don't eat lunch) and usually when I leave, it'd be straight back to my next class or activity. Sometimes I'd eat late at night (last night, for example, I ate dinner at around 8:30, 8:45 at Rathbone after Swing Dance.

Another reason it sucks to be a freshman from Hawaii. :/

~E

My Pocket Has Subspace

Seriously.

It was a joke with Erin H. and I in intermediate that my red jacket (it was a hand-me-down from Mich) had pockets that opened into a subspace compartment. Because I could fit three hibiscus into them without them bulging too far outward. Sometimes I would find snacks or candy in my pocket, which is funny because I wouldn't remember putting them there. So Erin concluded that I had subspace access through my pockets.

Fast forward to now, I just found out that my brown hoodie also has subspace access: I found a packet of li hing powder (no idea how it got there), a flower I had picked up a few days ago, and my swipe card. The funny thing is that in the mornings when I walk to class, my hands are in my pocket. O__o Subspace indeed!

~E

Frequently Asked Questions

These are some commonly-asked questions:

Where are you from?
Hawaii

Why did you want to come here of all places?
It's complicated, but I wanted to experience college away from home.

What's it like in Hawaii?
Next question.

Can you help me with my math homework?
Uh, I hardly understand it myself - I don't think I should be helping you.

Did I do this right?
I think so...

Do you live on the beach?
No. Right now I live on a mountain. In Hawaii I lived near Pearl Harbor.

You're serious? You're from Hawaii?
As a heart attack. Here. Look at my driver's license.

Have you seen snow before?
Yes. Once.

Is it hot in Hawaii?
Yes.

Does it snow?
....no

Do the leaves change colors?
If they're dying.

So you've never seen autumn before?
No

Are you cold?
Yes.

Why are you so cold?
Because where I'm from, it never gets this cold. If it did, everyone would die.

How did you and Bianca [my room mate] get paired together? Aren't you like total opposites?
Yes, we are total opposites. No, we don't have any clue why we were paired together. We get along fine and that's all that matters.

Have you seen/do you know where _____________ is?
No

Why do you walk so fast?
Because I have class

Why didn't you tell me that?!
1. Tell you what? 2. You didn't ask.

You know what?
No, I don't know what.

Where were you?
Probably at class.

Are you doing anything tonight?
My homework.

Are you coming out tonight?
No.

Why not?
I'm doing my work and I have class at 8 in the morning.

Will you remember to wake me up tomorrow?
Yes.

Do you have your music?
No, I wasn't given any at all.

Well, do you want to copy off mine?
Nah, it's all right. I can't play anyway.

~E