So I was on Facebook and I see about three to five invites to wear purple on Wednesday in memory of those who committed suicide due to homophobic bullying. Which got me thinking a bit about homosexuality. It's kind of a random thought, really.
Recently I had a song called "It's Okay to be Gay" by Tomboy stuck in my head. There's a lot of sexual innuendos but to me it's kind of a joking song where a lot of guys are dressed in drag, etc. It's too complicated to even think about. :/ I was watching the video on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j4t185wl-0) and saw a link in the "Related Videos" section called "Gay Education". Curious, I clicked on it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY&feature=related).
It was about how homosexuality is genetic and not a choice. Some of the things I remember from Psychology and Sociology, where a guy with a lot of older brothers may end up being gay because their mother's body saw the male fetus as an "invader" and tried to "feminize" it with female hormones. The more males the woman has the better her body became at "feminizing" the fetus and making it so that her body didn't recognize it as an invader so much.
I was talking to Jenna and asked if she thought it was a choice. She did. If I remember correctly she thought that it was along the lines that we can choose to "be true to ourselves" and "listen" to our feelings or not.
Perhaps I am naive but I like to think that gender doesn't matter if you really care about that person. I can honestly care less. A part of me is a little...unnerved sometimes, but it makes me feel really bad because that's only the part of me that listens to society and is conditioned to follow societal norms. Just because someone is bisexual or homosexual doesn't mean that they are an entirely different species - we're all the same, essentially. We may not be completely the same, but we have similar likes and dislikes, loves and hates, feelings and cultures. We have similar goals and though we may not all look exactly alike, we all have a head, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, two ears, to hands, two feet, two arms, two legs, organs (both internal and external) and a soul. We may not have the same religion but we all believe in one thing or another, each to varying degrees.
I like to think we are all bisexual and our level of attraction to the opposite sex versus the same sex are what "decides" for us who we like and dislike, if that makes any sense. To rephrase, I like to think that we are all bisexual but to varying degrees. Think of a number line. On one end is homosexuality and on the other end is heterosexuality. There are only shades of grey where we all fall in. Some are ostensibly closer to the "homosexual" side while others fall closer to the "heterosexual" side. Some aren't sure and teeter in the middle, like standing on the pivot point of a see-saw.
Homosexual | --------------------------| Bisexual |----------------------------| Heterosexual
Homophobia bothers me. Perhaps I'm a bit hypocritical, but I don't mind so much when there are protests - they have the right to share their ideas and that's fine by me. But when it gets to the point where they're saying that homosexuality is immoral and we're all going to go to hell for it is when it kind of starts bothering me. When people are so close-minded to bully others (in any way shape or form for any reason) is when it really bothers me. It's like saying I'll be beat up if I choose a red scarf over a blue one. It's my own choice to choose a red scarf because it's my favorite color. Maybe the blue one wasn't warm enough and the red one was warmer. I have my own reason for choosing the red scarf over the blue one and I don't think I should be persecuted because of it. The same thing should apply for homosexuality, whether it's a personal choice or it's genetics. Why should it matter? Seriously.
I've seen a lot of posts like this. It bothers me a lot. Maybe they're not all true, but regardless. I, personally, may not have seen many homophobic people. (I say "may" because I don't know and don't pry) I don't like to think that this still happens, but reading the pot on Facebook about the college students who committed suicide because of homophobic bullying...it makes me wonder. It probably goes on more often than we are all aware.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
~E
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