Just a Thought...

Somehow the weirdest thoughts come out when I'm in the shower. :/

I was thinking about choices and pre-destiny. I had met two people from different countries: a girl from Greece and a boy from Kenya and they were both in my Engineering 005 class. We had lunch together and later on I thought about what we talked about. It wasn't much, and they asked me more questions than I asked them, but it got me thinking what if.

What if I hadn't looked into Lehigh University?
What if I hadn't been accepted?
What if I hadn't even applied?

Certainly I would be going to an east-coast school - maybe George Washington University because after Lehigh, it was my first choice. Or maybe University of Maryland, or Old Dominion as an honor student. What if I hadn't listened to mom and looked into Lehigh?

Let's go back a bit further.

What if I hadn't gone to summer school and taken Career/Life Guidance? (year before freshman year) I probably wouldn't know my major.
What if I had stuck with artisan? Or a job that only required trade school? I obviously wouldn't be here. But of course, to me the choice was clear: I would go to college.
What if I hadn't gone to the National Youth Leadership Forum? What if I had just told mom nah, I don't wanna go? I wouldn't have realized how strangely beautiful the east coast was. I wouldn't have realized that I wanted to help, not just go into engineering because I liked it. What if I hadn't gone? I wouldn't know what to do with my life.

Here's one that's making me think hard: what if I hadn't met Tokes, Donnelly, Kennedy, Miyashiro? What if I hadn't met Jenna, Richard, Erin, Jennifer, Connie, Nani, Christian? What then?

Tokes. He was hands-down the most inspirational. He showed me through his actions that the world wasn't about books. He made me be aware of what's going on around me and encouraged me to pursue my interests, especially in random facts - he seemed to know them all!

Donnelly. Well, even though she was only a recent addition to my list, her kind words were inspirational to me. Nuff said.

Kennedy. Now here's a conundrum. His teaching style wasn't like other teachers'. In fact, nothing about him was like anyone else that I had ever met. I know that when I first met him, I didn't quite know what to make of him. He stood outside the door and greeted us by name, shaking our hands with a smile on his face. When he wrote "letters" to us with our assignments on them, he always wrote "Dear Friends". He showed me that the little things count and that there is more than one way to look at a problem. He showed me patience and made me laugh, especially when we practiced our argument essays. He found ways to make the class fun and seemed to have an endless supply of patience.

Miyashiro. She looked like a student and acted like someone on a perpetual caffeine high. But she was willing to stop and listen - and she knew what was going on with me! There were around 300 people in our class but she knew us all by name and could, usually very accurately, ask about an aspect of our school lives.

Jenna. I don't even know. I mean, she had slipped so easily into my life as if she belonged there and now I can't ever imagine her not. Same goes for all my other friends. I almost expect them to be there when I head out of my room. Sometimes I find myself about to call them to join me for breakfast or some other meal only to remember that they're not even in the same state as me, or even within a hundred-mile radius.

I can list more. What if this, what if that. But somehow everything worked out. Yet...

I can never grasp the idea of predestination. To me, everything seems like chance. I can't imagine how everything like this that's happened to me is planned out. Every second, every minute, every hour...

~E